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Stories/Jokes: Battle of the Sexes

Male Aging

Courtesy of David R.

AGE/DRINK

  • 17 - Beer
  • 25 - Vodka
  • 35 - Scotch
  • 48 - Double Scotch
  • 66 - Maalox

AGE/SEDUCTION LINE

  • 17 - My parents are away for the weekend.
  • 25 - My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
  • 35 - My fiancée is away for the weekend.
  • 48 - My wife is away for the weekend.
  • 66 - My second wife is dead.

AGE/FAVORITE SPORT

  • 17 - sex
  • 25 - sex
  • 35 - sex
  • 48 - sex
  • 66 - napping

AGE/DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

  • 17 - "tongue"
  • 25 - "breakfast"
  • 35 - "She didn't set back my therapy."
  • 48 - "I didn't have to meet her kids."
  • 66 - "Got home alive."

AGE/FAVORITE FANTASY

  • 17 - getting to third
  • 25 - airplane sex
  • 35 - menage a trois
  • 48 - taking the company public
  • 66 - Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

AGE/FAVORITE HOUSE PET

  • 17 - roaches
  • 25 - stoned-out college roommate
  • 35 - German Shepherd
  • 48 - children from his first marriage
  • 66 - Barbie

AGE/WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

  • 17 - 25
  • 25 - 35
  • 35 - 48
  • 48 - 66
  • 66 - 17
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