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Male Bonuses
Courtesy of Michael B.
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
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Your last name stays put.
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The garage is all yours.
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Wedding plans take care of themselves.
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Chocolate is just another snack.
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You can never be pregnant.
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You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
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You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
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Car mechanics tell you the truth.
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The world is your urinal.
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You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
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You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
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Same work, more pay.
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Wrinkles add character.
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Wedding dress $5000 - Tux rental-$100.
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People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
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The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
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New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
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One mood all the time.
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Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
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You know stuff about tanks.
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A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
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You can open all your own jars.
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You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
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If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
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Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
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Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
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You almost never have strap problems in public.
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You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
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Everything on your face stays its original color.
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The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
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You only have to shave your face and neck.
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You can play with toys all your life.
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Your belly usually hides your big hips.
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One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
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You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
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You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
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You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
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You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
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