Drinking at Work

Reasons why alcohol should be served at work...

• It's an incentive to show up.
• It reduces stress.
• Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."
• It leads to more honest communications.
• It reduces complaints about low pay.
• It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
• Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
• It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
• It encourages carpooling.
• Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
• It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
• It makes fellow employees look better.
• It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
• Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
• Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
• Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
• Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
• It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
• Everyone agrees the work is better after they've had a couple of drinks.
• Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
• Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked. (?)
• It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.
• The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
• Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
• Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language.