Family Values

A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

"Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad," gushed son number one, a doctor. "Sorry I'm running late -- had an emergency accident victim in the operating room at the hospital -- you know how it is. Didn't have time to get you both a present."

"Not to worry," said the dad. "The important thing is that we're all here together today."

Son number two, a CEO of an electronics firm, arrived and announced, "You and Mom still look great, Dad. Just flew in from L.A. from a stockholders' meeting. Didn't have time to get you a present -- Sorry."

"It's no thing," said the father, "Glad you were able to be here."

Just then the daughter, an insurance broker, arrived. "Hello both of you. Happy Anniversary! I'm sorry I'm late, but I'm going to Europe on an important company insurance issue, and I was really busy packing. Didn't have time to get you guys anything."

Again the father said, "I really don't care, at least the five of us are together today."

After they had all finished dessert, the father put down his knife and fork, looked up and said, "Listen up, all three of you. There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to scrimp and save and raise each of you and send you to college. And you've all done very well. All through the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much but -- with the work and all, well, we just never found the time to get married."

The three kids gasp and said, "You mean we're all bastards?"

"Yep," said the dad -- "cheap ones too!"