The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

      Good: Your wife is pregnant.
      Bad: It's triplets.
      Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

      Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
      Bad: She wants a divorce.
      Ugly: She's a lawyer.

      Good: Your son is finally maturing.
      Bad: He's involved with the Woman next door.
      Ugly: So are you.

      Good: Your son studies a lot in his room..
      Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
      Ugly: You're in them.

      Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
      Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
      Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them.

      Good: Your husband understands fashion.
      Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
      Ugly: He looks better than you.

      Good: You give the "birds & bees" talk to your daughter.
      Bad: She keeps interrupting.
      Ugly: With corrections.

      Good: The postman's early.
      Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.
      Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.

      Good: Your son is dating someone new.
      Bad: It's another man.

      Good: Your daughter got a new job.
      Bad: As a hooker.
      Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.
      Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.