Politically Correct in the Army
Courtesy of David R.
How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men (Or Army Men):
1. He does not have a beer gut...
He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.(regular guys)
He has a personal war reserve stock.(army guys)
2. He is not quiet...
He is a Conversational Minimalist.
He is a SAMS grad.
3. He is not stupid...
He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.
He is a field grade.
4. He does not get lost all the time...
He discovers Alternative Destinations.
He gets temporarily misoriented.
5. He is not balding...
He is in Follicle Regression.
He has a REALLY squared away high and tight.
6. He is not a cradle robber...
He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
He is breaking the new fraternization policies.
7. He does not get falling-down drunk...
He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
He practices his IMTs in the club.
8. He is not short...
He is Anatomically Compact.
He suffers from a Napoleon Complex.
9. He does not have a rich daddy...
He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.
He has the Army as a hobby.
10. He does not constantly talk about cars...
He has a Vehicular Addiction.
He must be a Transporter.
11. He does not have a hot body...
He is Physically Combustible.
He is a PT stud.
12. He is not unsophisticated...
He is Socially Challenged.
He is a Ranger.
13. He does not eat like a pig...
He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.
He eats like a Ranger student at Pizza Hut.
14. He is not a bad dancer...
He is Overly Caucasian.
He is from the Muddy Boots Army.
15. He does not hog the blankets...
He is Thermally Unappreciative.
He is a Blue Falcon.
16. He is not a male chauvinist pig...
He has Swine Empathy.
He must be combat arms.
17. He is not afraid of commitment...
He is Monogamously Challenged.
He loves TDY.
