Redneck Computer Lingo

Computer Terms For Rednecks:

• Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
• Bar Code - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
• Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick
• Byte - What your pit-bull done to cousin Jethro
• Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
• Digital - The art of counting on your fingers
• Diskette - Female Disco dancer
• Fax - What you lie about to the IRS
• Hacker - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
• Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
• Hard Drive - Memphis to Jacksonville
• Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
• Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the Caterpillar
• Kilobyte - Huntin' for food
• Mac - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
• Megahertz - How your head feels after 17 beers
• Modem - What ya do when the weeds get too high
• Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live
• Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
• Online - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
• ROM - Where the pope lives
• Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
• Serial Port - A red wine you drink with breakfast
• Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year
• SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear
• Terminal - Time to call the undertaker