Blank Screen

Courtesy of David R.

Actual dialogue of a former Wordperfect Customer Support Employee (CSE)

Customer Support Employee (CSE): May I help you?

Customer: Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.

CSE: What sort of trouble?

Customer: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.

CSE: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?

Customer: Nothing.

CSE: Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?

Customer: How do I tell?

CSE: Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?

Customer: What's a sea-prompt?

CSE: Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?

Customer: There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.

CSE: Does your monitor have a power indicator?

Customer: What's a monitor?

CSE: It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?

Customer: I don't know.

CSE: Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?

Customer: Yes, I think so.

CSE: Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Customer: I can't. It's dark out here.

CSE: Dark?

Customer: There's a power outage.

CSE: A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in with?

Customer: Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.

CSE: Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.

Customer: Really? Is it that bad?

CSE: Yes, I'm afraid it is.

Customer: Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?

CSE: Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.

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