Redneck Technical Terms

LOG ON: Making a wood stove hot

LOG OFF: Too much wood on fire

MONITOR: Keep'n an eye on the wood stove

DOWNLOAD: Gitten the farwood off'n the truck

MEGAHERTZ: When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood

FLOPPY DISK: Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood

RAM: That thar thang what splits the farwood

HARD DRIVE: Gitten home in the winter time

WINDOWS: Whut to shut when its cold outside

SCREEN: Whut to shut when its black fly season

BYTE: Whut dem dang flys do

CHIP: Munchies fer the TV

MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag

MODEM: Whatcha do to the hay fields

DOT MATRIX: Ole Dan Matrix's wife

LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps

KEYBOARD: Whar you hang the dang truck keys

SOFTWARE: Dem dang plastic forks and knifes

MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn

MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives

MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof

PORT: Fancy flatlander wine

ENTER: Notherner talk fer "C'Mon in y'all"

CLICK: Whut you hear when you cock yer gun

DOUBLE CLICK: When you cock the double barrel

REBOOT: Whut you have to do right before bedtime, when you have to go to the outhouse