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Irritations of Life
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You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
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The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.
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The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
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There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.
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You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
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It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't realize it till you walk across your living room rug.
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The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.
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There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
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You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
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Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.
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You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.
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You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
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Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.
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A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
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There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.
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You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.
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The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.
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A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.
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You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.
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The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.
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You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
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People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.
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Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
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You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.
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You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.
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You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.
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You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.
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